Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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