It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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