Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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