I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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