We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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