Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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