thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
