Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
