Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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