before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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