Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
