Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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