Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There r osticjed everywhere
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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