Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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