So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
