i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
