So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
