is your mom at the bar?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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