worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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