So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I need water and some morals
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
