Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
