i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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