Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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