I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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