is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
