how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
