Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
