As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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