Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
