That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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