how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
