I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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