once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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