Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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