we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
