My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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