Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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