he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He did a backflip because drugs
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
