A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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