Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
