So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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