i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So many bounce houses so little time
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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