Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
