Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
