i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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