they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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