My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
