You work out of a Hotel?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
