a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
