There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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